Unfinished
by Shannon1991xo
Summary: 'Goodbyes hurt the most when the story was not finished'
1. Prologue

**This is just an introduction to a possible new story, if I choose to continue it the chapters will obviously get longer.**

* * *

His favourite film was Jurassic World. His favourite desert was chocolate berry torte. He smelt of Paco Rabanne One Million. He enjoyed nothing more than being home in time to do the bedtime routine with our girls. He cried like a baby at our wedding and again when each of our girls were born. He was a family man. We were trying for our third child before he was diagnosed, hoping for a boy this time so he could have his mini-me. He saved my life more than once.

He was a Capricorn. He was my Nicky Tilsley, the love of my life and the father of my children.

These are the pieces of a life, and a love, that you won't find written in any obituary.


	2. One

'Carla?' The consultant says making his way over to her.

'I-Is he okay?' She asks, the fear clear in her voice as she grips a cup of coffee

'For now... The cancer is a lot more aggressive than we thought, I'm afraid he doesn't have long left.' He replies.

'How long?' She asks, a tear falling down her cheek.

'Honestly? I'd be surprised if he made it through the night.' He replies causing her to instantly cover her mouth with her hand.

'D-Does he know?' She asks and he nods his head.

'We can do our best to make him comfortable but there isn't much more we can do. You are more than welcome to go in and sit with him for as long as you need.' He says.

'Thank you.' She almost whispers. Turning around she quietly opens the door and makes her way into the hospital room.

'Hi, baby.' Nick says quietly as he lies in bed, propped up by pillows.

'Hey, you...' She replies closing the door behind her and making her way over to the bed. She sits down on the edge of it and links her fingers with his.

'I'm scared.' He admits and she shakes her head.

'Don't be scared... You'll be fine. Your dad will look after you up there.' She says reaching up to gently touch his cheek.

'And who's gonna look after you and the girls?' He asks quietly causing her to shrug her shoulders.

'We'll be okay.' She replies quietly, glancing down at the floor as tears fill her eyes.

'Hey... Come here.' Nick says gently pulling her until she's lying on the bed beside him, her head resting on his chest.

'Where's my strong girl gone ey?' He asks running his fingers through her hair.

'She's not feeling very strong right now.' She admits.

'I need you to promise me something.' He says and she tilts her head to glance up at him.

'Don't turn to gambling or drink when I'm gone and don't push people away when they're trying to help you.' He says running his fingers through her hair.

'I won't, I promise.' She replies and he sighs.

'Please don't let the girls forget me.' He says and she lets out a sob.

'Never...' She whispers.

* * *

'How are you feeling? Are you in pain?' Carla asks running her hand down his chest.

'Little bit... Nothing I can't handle.' He replies forcing a smile. She nods her head and turns to glance at the monitor as his heart rate drops slightly.

'Carla... K-Keep looking at me.' He mumbles and she turns her face back to look at him.

'I love you.' She says and he licks his lips.

'I-I love you too.' He replies.

'T-Talk to me... Tell me a-about next week?' He asks and she smiles slightly.

'Well I promised Willow we'd buy her a new tutu so we'll probably do that at some point. We'll have a Disney day on the sofa just the four of us, Pippa probably won't sit the length of a movie though so who knows what she'll end up doing. Then I don't know what we'll do, maybe a walk down the red rec or lunch in the Rovers?' She says and he smiles as she includes him in the plans. He knows exactly what she's doing and he's extremely grateful for it.

* * *

'I-I don't w-want to leave you or g-girls.' He says as a tear falls down his cheek. It's been a little over six hours since they were told he didn't have long and his heart rate is slowly dropping.

'We'll be okay, Nick... I love you and you're always going to be right here.' She says putting her hand over her heart. He nods his head silently as he stares at her.

'We'll be okay... We've got so many people around us who love us, who love you. We won't be alone.' She adds. She gently squeezes his hand and kisses his cheek as his heart rate slowly drops. His breathing gets more and more laboured as time goes on.

* * *

'Baby, close your eyes... Go to sleep, you don't need to be in pain anymore. I love you.' She whispers.

'Night, Carla.' He says barely audible as he closes his eyes.

'Night, Nicky.' She replies. Tears fall down her cheeks until the monitor lets out a high pitched wail.

'Bye, babe.' She whispers leaning down and kissing his lips. She runs her fingers over his face one last time before slowly getting off the bed and making her way out of the room.

'Carla.' Gail says as she watches Carla nod to Nick's consultant as tears roll down her cheeks.

'He's gone, Gail...' She sobs as Gail instantly wraps her arms around her.

'Oh, Carla...' Gail whispers running her hands up and down her daughter-in-law's back as tears fill her eyes.

'What am I going to do now? How do I live without him?' Carla sobs clinging onto Gail.

'You'll get through this, sweetheart... It's going to be really hard but you're not on your own. We're all here for you.' Gail says, tears streaming down her cheeks.

'I'm so sorry, Gail. You were his mum, you should've been in there.' Carla whispers tilting her head back to look at the older woman.

'You've got nothing to be sorry for, Carla. You were his wife, he wanted you by his side and I wouldn't have it any other way. You made him so happy Carla and you gave him the opportunity to be a father.' Gail says and Carla sighs.

'Mum, what's going on? Is Nick okay?' David asks as he makes his way towards Gail and Carla, Sarah not far behind him.

'Nick... He's-' Gail begins and Carla once again sobs before covering her mouth.

'I can't do this.' She cries rushing away from the trio and towards the bathroom.

'He's gone, isn't he?' Sarah asks and Gail nods her head as tears stream down her cheeks.

'Oh mum...' David says instantly pulling Gail into his arms.


	3. Two

It's a little after 5am when Carla places her key in the lock and slowly opens the front door. She makes her way into the house and is instantly hit with so many memories; this was their family home. The place they'd brought both Willow and Pippa home to when they were first born.

'Carla...' Michelle says pulling her from her thoughts. She instantly glances up, tears streaming down her cheeks as she bites her bottom lip.

'I'm so sorry.' Michelle adds as Carla shakes her head.

'It's not fair, Chelle... We barely had a chance to get our head around this and now he's gone... He's gone and I'm all alone.' She sobs as Michelle wraps her arms around her.

'I know it's not fair. It's really screwed up but you're not alone, Car... You're always going to have me. I know I'm not Nick but I'm here.' Michelle says.

'You should get some sleep... Do you want me to bring your covers downstairs? I'll make you a bed on the sofa?' Michelle asks as Carla clings tightly to her.

'N-No... I'll go upstairs to my bed.' She replies.

'Are you sure? You don't have to do that just yet.' Michelle says.

'I want to.' Carla replies quietly.

'Okay... Steve and I will deal with the girls in the morning. Don't you worry about them.' Michelle says kissing Carla's cheek.

'Thanks, Chelle.' She whispers. She makes her way upstairs and stops outside her bedroom door. Just over twelve hours ago they were in this bedroom getting ready for a night in with the girls.

'As if nothing has changed.' She mumbles making her way into the room. Everything is exactly the way they left it; his pyjama trousers are neatly folded at the bottom of the bed, his jacket slung over the chair at her dressing table. Making her way over to the dressing table she runs her fingers over his jacket before pulling open a drawer and lifting a little white stick out.

They'd always wanted a third child, they'd been trying for a third child since Pippa turned 9 months but nothing seemed to be happening. As soon as they'd received the diagnosis they'd stopped trying, although clearly they'd been too late...

* * *

'Carla...' A voice says softly as they bedroom door creaks open.

'Mumma.' Another little voice adds causing Carla to smile slightly. She pushes herself into a sitting position as Kate enters the bedroom carrying Pippa.

'Hi, come in.' Carla says quietly, wiping her eyes as she sits up in bed with one of Nick's baggy t-shirts on.

'Stupid question, I know... But how are you?' Kate asks as Pippa reaches out for Carla.

'Ummm... I don't know.' Carla admits taking Pippa into her arms. She let's the little girl cuddle into her as she leans back against the pillows.

'Did you get any sleep?' Kate asks and Carla shakes her head.

'Everytime I close my eyes I see his face. I see how much pain he was in and the life slowly draining out of him. I hear those machines. He was so, so scared Kate and I couldn't do anything to make it better... I couldn't do anything.' Carla replies, tears streaming down her cheeks as she glances down at Pippa.

'I'm sure the fact that you were there with him made things a lot better for him.' Kate says placing her hand on Carla's knee.

'He asked me to never let the girls forget him... Willow probably won't even understand what's going on. Pippa's never going to remember him, she's too young...' Carla mumbles and Kate glances down at Pippa.

'Well we will just have to make sure Pippa knows what a fantastic, loving daddy she had then don't we?' Kate says and Carla sighs.

'I should probably come downstairs.' She says and Kate shakes her head.

'Not if you don't feel up to it. You can stay up here all day if you want.' Kate replies.

'I'll come down.' Carla says quietly.

* * *

'Hi, sweetheart...' Johnny says softly as Carla makes her way downstairs, followed by Kate who is carrying Pippa. Over the years things between the father and daughter have improved slightly. He's always been a grandfather to her children and they call him papa.

'Dad...' She sobs practically throwing herself into his arms. He glances at Michelle who has tears in her eyes before wrapping his arms around her.

'Hey, you're okay. I've got you.' He says hugging her tightly.

 _You wonder why the earth still moves_

 _You wonder how you'll carry on_

 _But you'll be okay on that first day when I'm gone_


	4. Three

'Hey...' Johnny says quietly as he makes his way into Pippa's bedroom where Carla is curled up on the rocking chair with Pippa curled up in her arms.

'I don't know what to do? How do I live without him?' She asks, tears streaming down her cheeks.

'It's hard, Carla. But you already know that don't you? You've lived without Paul.' He replies.

'But it's not the same. Paul and I didn't have kids did we? It's not just me anymore, it's Willow and Pippa and this one...' She says quietly, her hand resting on her flat stomach.

'Y-You're pregnant?' He asks and she nods her head.

'We found out last week... I'm so scared.' She admits causing him to sigh.

'Oh Carla... I'm so sorry.' He says.

'I thought this was it you know? Our happily ever after, we'd grow old together. Watch the kids grow up, he'd walk them down the aisle on their wedding day and we'd eventually welcome our grandchildren into the world... Why did he have to leave me? I can't do this on my own.' She cries.

'I don't think he had much choice, Carla. Nick adored you and the kids and I'm sure the thought of leaving you all behind hurt him just as much as you're hurting right now...' He says.

'It wasn't supposed to be like this. I thought we would've had longer, you know? They gave him six months, it's only been two... It's not fair.' She replies.

'These things are only an estimate but you're right. It's not fair that you have to go through this. It's not fair that the kids have to go through this but I promise you'll get through this. You're not alone.' He says.

* * *

'Uncle Aidan!' Five year old Willow shouts rushing into Aidan's arms as he makes his way through the front door followed by Eva.

'Hi, cutie... How are you?' He asks instantly lifting the little girl into his arms.

'Okay. Mummy says daddy's gone to live with the angels...' She replies as Michelle makes her way out of the kitchen.

'I know... Does that make you sad?' He asks and the little girl shrugs her shoulders.

'It's okay to be sad but it's also okay if you don't really understand, sweetheart.' Aidan says sitting down on the sofa with Willow on his knee.

'Mummy's sad.' She replies and he nods his head.

'She is but she'll be okay just like you'll be okay and Pippa will be okay.' He says running his fingers through her hair.

'Why don't I take you to that little ice cream shop down the street and we'll get a huge ice cream?' Eva suggests smiling as gently touches the little girl's cheek.

'Can I?' Willow asks and Aidan glances at Michelle who nods her head.

'I don't see why not.' Michelle replies and Eva puts her hand out to Willow.

'Come on then, princess... Lets go get the biggest ice cream we can.' She says smiling. Aidan watches his fiancée and niece leave the house before turning to Michelle.

'How's Carla?' He asks standing up and making his way over to her.

'I don't know how she's going to get through this, Aidan. She's upstairs with your dad right now.' She replies as he hugs her tightly.

'She'll get through this. She's got so many people around her, supporting her and she's got the girls.' He says causing her to sigh.

'But she's not got Nick. He was the one person that she truly felt understood her. I don't know what she's going to do without him.' She replies.


	5. Four

'This will be a little cold.' The sonographer says as she squirts some gel onto Carla's bare stomach. Using the probe she runs it across her stomach before settling at her lower stomach. Using her free hand she turns the screen to face Carla and smiles slightly.

'There's your baby... Nice and healthy.' The sonographer says and tears fill Carla's eyes.

'Oh my god...' Carla whispers covering her mouth with her hand.

'I'd say you're around ten weeks and everything looks fine. Baby has a perfect heartbeat.' The sonographer says and Carla smiles slightly.

'I'll go get you some pictures to take home with you.' The sonographer adds and Carla nods her head. She leaves the room and Carla uses the tissue paper to wipe the excess gel off her stomach as tears stream down her cheeks.

'You need to keep our little one safe in there, Nick... I can't lose it as well.' She mumbles glancing up at the ceiling.

* * *

'Hey, where have you been?' Michelle asks as Carla makes her way through the front door. It's been a little over a week since Nick passed away and Michelle has been staying with Carla ever since.

'Hospital...' Carla replies shrugging her coat off.

'Hospital? Why? Is everything okay?' Michelle asks.

'Mmm... I guess if Nick was here then everything would be perfect.' Carla replies quietly. She bends down and pulls a little white card out of her bag before handing it to Michelle.

'Oh my god...' Michelle mumbles and Carla nods her head.

'Baby Tilsley number three.' Carla says as Michelle gazes down at the scan photo.

'This is amazing...' Michelle whispers and Carla sighs.

'Is it? Single mum to three kids, not exactly what I planned.' Carla replies.

'Maybe not but you're not on your own, Car. I know you've lost Nick but you've still got your girls and your family. I'm here, aren't I?' Michelle says.

'But you're not going to be here forever are you? One day you're going to go back home to Steve and I'll be on my own... I don't want to be on my own.' Carla admits.

'You don't have to be on your own. I'll stay as long as you need me to and I'm pretty sure Johnny would stay with you for a while if you needed him to.' Michelle says causing Carla to sigh.

'I didn't want to be a mother... Not after losing the baby girl I promised myself I'd never have another child, never let myself go through that heartache again until Nick came along. Then I wanted all the children in the world and now I'm not quite sure I can do this without him.' Carla admits.

'You'll learn. You're a great mum and I know that you can do this... Just think, that little baby in there is just another part of you and Nick.' Michelle says.

'I'm scared, Chelle... I'm scared and I really, really miss Nick.' Carla replies.

'I know you do and that's so understandable.' Michelle says hugging Carla tightly.

'You're going to be okay, Car. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but one day you will.' She adds smiling slightly.


	6. Six

'I'm so sorry you won't meet your daddy... This isn't the way I had planned for this to happen but I need you to hold on in there because I'm not quite sure I could cope with losing you as well.' Carla whispers, her hands pressed flat against her stomach as she lies in bed. Reaching to her side she sighs and lifts the white envelope with her name written across it.

'Shall we see what daddy wanted to say to us.' She mumbles. She glances at the envelope containing he letter Nick had written shortly after he'd been diagnosed before beginning to open it. Taking a deep breath she pulls the letter out and begins to read.

 _'Baby,_

 _If you're reading this then I guess I'm gone, aren't I? I didn't want us to end like this, I didn't want us to end at all. You were always the one for me even if you could be a right cow at times. I loved you so much, Carla. I'll always love you and when I do eventually go I'll wait for you on the other side, longing for the day we can be together again. Although not too soon, ey? Our girls need their mummy around to make everything okay again._

 _I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I've been forced to leave you. I'm sorry I couldn't give you that third child we both longed for. I want nothing more than for you to be happy. I want you to take the girls to Disney and do everything else we ever wanted to do with them. Show them the world and never let anything keep you down. And if you find someone who makes you happy, who takes care of you and loves you the way you deserve, don't let thoughts of me keep you from him. Be happy, be loved and know that I am always watching over you with a smile on my face._

 _All my love,_

 _Nick.'_

Tears roll down her cheeks as she rolls onto her side facing his side of the bed.

'Oh Nick...' She mumbles, her hand remaining on her stomach as she gazes at their wedding picture on the bedside table.

'Nick, please? Just give me a sign that you're still here.' She says glancing up at the celling. As if on cue the bedside lamp flickers causing her to smile slightly.

'There's my Nicky Tilsley.' She whispers reaching up to wipe her cheeks. She hears the door creak open and someone enter the room.

'Mummy...' A little voice says and Carla automatically turns.

'Hi, sweetheart... What's the matter? Shouldn't you be sleeping?' Carla asks as Willow makes her way towards the bed.

'Couldn't sleep, mumma.' The five year old replies and Carla pulls the duvet back a bit.

'Come snuggle with mummy.' Carla says. Willow climbs into the bed and Carla wraps her arms around her.

'I love you baby girl and daddy loved you loads.' Carla whispers.

'Love you mummy.' Willow replies.

'We're going to be okay, Willow. I don't know when this will get easy but I've been told it will so I know we'll be okay.' Carla says quietly as the little girl begins to doze off in her arms.


	7. Seven

'We meet here today to honour and pay tribute to the life of Nicholas Paul Tilsley, and to express our love and admiration for him. Also to try to bring some comfort to those of his family and friends who are here and have been deeply hurt by his passing.' Billy says as he looks out at the numerous people who have turned up to say their goodbyes.

'Those who were close to him will know Nick wasn't a particularly religious person, so it's befitting that this should reflect what he was; a gentle, kind, loving person who was devoted to his family and what a beautiful little family he had. He was husband to Carla and father to little Willow and Pippa; Nick adored his family, he loved nothing more than being at home with his three girls and I know that he'll be watching over them all as the girls grow into beautiful young ladies... Now I believe Michelle is going to read us a poem.' Billy says and Michelle gently squeezes Carla's hand. She whispers something in her ear before making her way up to the front. Wiping her eyes, she takes a deep breath and begins to read from the sheet of paper in her hand.

 _'When tomorrow starts without me and I'm not here to see if the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me._

 _I wish you wouldn't cry the way you did today while thinking of the many things we did not get to say. I know how much you love me as much as I love you. Each time that you think of me I know you will miss me too_

 _When tomorrow starts without me please try to understand that an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand. The angel said my place was ready in heaven far above and that I would have to leave behind all those I dearly love._

 _But when I walked through Heaven's Gates I felt so much at home. When God looked down and smiled at me from his golden throne. He said this is eternity and all I promised you. Today for life on earth is done but here it starts a new._

 _I promise no tomorrow for today will always last and since each day's the exact same there is no longing for the past._

 _So When Tomorrow starts without me do not think we're apart for every time you think of me remember I'm right here in your heart.'_

Michelle makes her way back to where Carla's sitting with tears streaming down her cheeks.

'You okay, sweetie?' Michelle asks taking hold of Carla's hand again.

'I-I don't want to go to the Rovers... I just want to go home and be with my girls.' Carla almost whispers.

'Okay. We can do that.' Michelle says and Carla shakes her head.

'I want to be on my own.' She replies quietly.

* * *

'Mummy!' Willow shouts as Carla makes her way through the front door followed by Kate. Instantly Carla lifts the little girl into her arms and hugs her tightly.

'Hi, beautiful... Did you have a nice time with Auntie Caz?' Carla asks.

'We made cookies with peanut butter and marshmallows.' Willow replies.

'Wow... Well Auntie Caz is going home now so can you say goodbye.' Carla says placing the little girl back on the floor.

'We can stay if you want?' Caz says and Carla shakes her head.

'I need to be on my own at some point.' Carla replies.

'Not today but...' Kate says.

'Go home to your babies or go to the pub and have a drink for Nick... We'll be okay, wont we Willow?' Carla replies and the little girl grins.

'Yes, mumma.' She says.

'I'm only a phone call away.' Kate says hugging her sister.

'Thank you.' Carla replies quietly.

* * *

'How was Carla when you left?' Michelle asks as she slides a red wine across the bar to Kate.

'Surprisingly pretty calm... We offered to stay but she didn't want us to.' Kate replies and Michelle sighs.

'This is only going to end badly, Kate... She's putting on such a front and she may seem okay now but I'm scared one of these days she's going to come crashing down.' Michelle admits.

'I know. I think at the moment it's easier for her to pretend this isn't happening to her, she planned the funeral like it was someone she barely knew... Almost like she's on the outside looking in.' Kate says and Michelle nods her head.

'I know. I think the girls and the baby are going to get her through. If she didn't have them I'm pretty certain we wouldn't have her right now.' Michelle replies.


End file.
